When the Holidays Feel Hard — Understanding Trauma Triggers During the Season
The holidays are often described as joyful, warm, and full of connection. But for many people—especially those who have lived through trauma—this time of year can feel heavy, overwhelming, or emotionally complicated.
If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, sexual assault, physical assault, medical trauma, birth trauma, a traumatic accident, military trauma, or relationship wounds, the holidays can activate old memories, nervous system responses, and emotional patterns you thought you’d moved past.
You’re not “ruining the season.”
You’re not “too sensitive.”
Your trauma is responding to stress, expectations, and memories stored in the body.
And what you’re feeling makes sense.
Why Trauma Symptoms Often Get Stronger During the Holidays
1. Increased pressure to be happy
You may feel expected to participate, smile, or “be okay,” even when your body feels unsafe or overwhelmed.
2. Family gatherings that bring up old wounds
Childhood trauma, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, or unsafe relationships often resurface around family interactions.
3. Memories stored in the body
Your body remembers significant dates, seasons, scents, and environments—even when your mind doesn’t.
4. Grief or missing the version of yourself you lost
Trauma changes your life; the holidays can make you more aware of that shift.
5. Isolation during a time that’s “supposed to” feel connected
Trauma survivors may feel alone in a room full of people or feel disconnected from holiday traditions.
6. Sensory overwhelm
Lights, crowds, noise, cooking, visitors, decorating—your nervous system may interpret all of this as “too much.”
7. Disruption of routines that keep you grounded
Changes in sleep, work schedules, and responsibilities can increase anxiety, dissociation, or irritability.
How Trauma Shows Up During the Holidays
Holiday traditions, family roles, and certain voices, scents, or expectations can bring up:
emotional flashbacks
people-pleasing or fawning
shutdown or dissociation
guilt for setting boundaries
Sexual Assault & Physical Assault
Crowds, parties, drinking, or being around certain people may activate:
hypervigilance
discomfort with touch
avoidance of gatherings
fear of being cornered or unsafe
Accident Trauma (Car accidents, sudden events)
Holiday travel can trigger:
driving anxiety
panic on highways
avoidance of night or winter driving
Holiday health stress, hospitals, or pregnancy announcements may bring up:
fear of medical settings
grief or guilt
anger or sadness
intrusive memories of procedures or emergencies
Family dynamics or romantic pressure may trigger:
fear of conflict
walking on eggshells
difficulty trusting partners
past breakups or losses resurfacing
Fireworks, loud gatherings, crowds, or sudden noises may trigger:
startle responses
anxiety
intrusive memories
emotional numbness
Trauma touches many parts of holiday life—physically, emotionally, relationally, and psychologically.
You Are Allowed to Have a Different Experience of the Holidays
There is no “right” way to feel this time of year.
You are not a burden.
You are not failing the season.
You’re a human being carrying real experiences that deserve care.
Ways to Support Your Nervous System During the Holidays
1. Plan grounding breaks
Step outside, sit in your car, or take a quiet moment in the bathroom if you feel overwhelmed.
2. Prepare an exit strategy
Have a signal, code word, or plan so you can leave a situation early if needed.
3. Limit time with triggering people
Boundaries are valid. Distance is healthy.
4. Keep comforting items with you
A grounding stone, essential oil, textured object, or affirmation card.
5. Protect your rest
Your nervous system needs sleep to regulate.
6. Say “no” without explanation
“No, I won’t be attending” is a full sentence.
7. Make new traditions that feel safe
Cozy pajamas, movie nights, quiet mornings, or time alone can be healing.
If the Holidays Feel Hard, You’re Not Alone
Trauma doesn’t disappear because the calendar says it’s a season of joy.
I support teens and adults across Michigan who are navigating:
childhood trauma
C-PTSD
assault
sexual assault
accident-related PTSD
medical and birth trauma
relationship trauma
Veteran trauma
Together, we can understand your triggers, soothe your nervous system, and create a holiday season that feels gentler, calmer, and more supportive for you. You deserve care, safety, and space to breathe — during the holidays and all year long.
